Here it is 3 days before my next weigh in and I weigh MORE then I did at my last weigh in! I WAS 256 after weigh in but I have been at 257 and a wee bit over for the rest of the week. This morning I was 257.4! UGH! It’s so very, very frustrating to say the least!

I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I am drinking my water, I am watching my points (except I? did go over a little bit two days - but that should be ok - that is what the flex points are for) and I am exercising. I have even worked all week which means I have been running around and on my feet for at least 3 hours a day. So why am I stuck at 257?

Unlike other attempts to lose weight I am? not about to toss in the towel. I have my “eye on the prize”, and that is to be down to about 190 or so by October 2006. I have 67 pounds to lose to do that. That is NOT an unrealistic goal at all since I have another 9 months to do that. But now I have to find a way to get past 257. I don’t think I hit a plateau already. I wonder if it’s water retention or something? After all I am drinking so much water I’m about to float away.

I have been doing something this past week that I think is VERY important when you are trying to lose weight. Instead of wearing my frumpy clothes, tossing my hair up and going out with little or no make up I have done the OPPOSITE. I have been getting dressed up, wearing make up, jewerly, perfume, doing my hair - the works! And you know what? It has helped my confidence and self esteem A LOT! I have been more confident talking to people then I have been in a decade or more! It’s a wonderful POSITIVE feeling! Feeling this way only encourages me MORE to get healthy and to get in shape. Even though I’m still just about the same weight I was prior to joining Weight Watchers (just about 10 pounds less) my confidence level is getting so much better! And if feels great!

I want to encourage anyone on a weight loss program to make sure they look their best and start each day with a positive outlook. Even if you end up goofing up that day, or fall off your weight loss plan, DON’T SWEAT IT! Just pick yourself, dust? yourself off and get yourself ready to start a fresh new day the next day.

“Failure is success if we learn from it” - author unknown.

? ? Well here it is about three weeks into my “healthy lifestyle” change (notice how I don’t use the word “diet”). I was doing GREAT! I mean really, over 11 pounds the first two weeks. That is awesome. And oddly enough ALL my jeans? are loose on me now! So much so that I am thinking about picking up a few size 24 jeans so I have something to “shrink” into. I know I was wearing a 26/28. My measurements are not that of a true size 24 (yet) so I am guessing I am more like a true 26. That means anything size 28 or above I should get rid of in my closet.

? ? I have been so excited about this! I can’t wait to get rid of my old clothes and start buying new clothes. A whole new wardrobe sounds so wonderful!

? ? I even measured myself and notice that there was a difference in my hips and waist, but NOT my upper arm and thigh. Go figure.

? ? So here I am… looking at online clothing catalogs… having fun going through my closet and figuring out what gets tossed out first. BUT… I haven’t lose ANY weight in the past few days!

? ? I just STOPPED at 256 and I haven’t budged from there. I am dying to get below 250 because I have been OVER 250 for the past 10 years. So anything below that would be like a miracle in my book. But the scale hasn’t moved! Regardless of what I do.

? ? ? I was suggested to me that I eat a bit MORE then my allowed points for the day. There is a whole reason why, but I rather not? bore you with that. But I did do that last night. Instead of my 30 points I had about? 37! Mind you I felt incredibly guilty about that too!? But if it helped me to start losing weight, then it was worth it. People say that if you don’t eat your points your body goes into starvation mode and you don’t lose any weight. Since I was having a hard time even getting all my points in, I figured that was my problem.

? ? ? This morning I got up to see if I lost anything, hopeful that the extra “fuel” I put in my body last night worked. WRONG!!! I GAINED about? 1.7 pounds!!! OH!!! Talk about frustration. Not only that I am kicking myself in the butt for going over my points too.

? ? Now I feel bloated and just plain “blah”. I woke up feeling that way, as if I stuffed myself like a pig last night. Have you ever done that? Gorged yourself with food one night (maybe at a party or family get together) and the next morning you have like a “food hangover” where your stomach just feels “blah” and all? That is how I feel this morning. And I hate that feeling! I haven’t felt that way in three weeks!

? ? I am getting frustrated and a bit discouraged. However I have to keep my “eye on the prize” and not let this set back get the best of me. NO ONE is totally “perfect” when trying to lose weight. Even the best of the best “slip” from time to time. So I have to pick myself up, dust myself off and get back on that WW horse again.

? ? “Failure is a success if we learn from it.” - Author Unknown.

? ? Today was my second weigh in for Weight Watchers. Last week (my first weigh in) I had lost 6.6 pounds. I know I was asking too much, but I REALLY wanted to lose enough this week to make a 10 pound loss. I even told my husband how disappointed I’d be if I was at a 9.9 pound loss and joked that I hope that the lady weighing me would just put the loss at 10. Well… I was half joking, half serious. My dear hubby however said (in a serious way too) “Why would you want them to do that? You’d only be cheating yourself”. WOW… that hit me in the face like a brick wall. He was so right! True, it was only 1/10th. of a pound. But he was right. By pushing it up I was only cheating myself and my efforts to TRULY lose 10 pounds.

? ? ? My family and I went to Weight Watchers on our way out. I couldn’t stay for the meeting, but I wanted to get? weighed anyway. To my SHOCK I had lost 4.6 pounds, putting my overall weight loss at 11.2 pounds! Here I was sweating it out wanting a 10 pound loss and I was so surprised to get even better then that.

? ? Over 11 pounds is A LOT for the first few weeks of any weight loss program. I know it can’t stay at this pace for long. I guess I’m just hoping the more I can lose right away the better I would be at staying motivated. I feel that if I can SEE and FEEL the difference then I would be more likely to stay motivated to keep on track with Weight Watchers. Better yet, to have someone tell me “Wow… you look great! Are you losing weight?” would be a HUGE motivation for me.

? ? I haven’t told my friends or family that I am on Weight Watchers or on another “diet”. Considering the fact I have been on every one under the sun and failed I didn’t want any negative comments from people REMINDING me of past FAILURES. I’m NOT going to faiil this time! I won’t allow that to happen!

? ? We went out to dinner tonight at Ruby Tuesdays. I looked all over the menu and I couldn’t find anything for those watching calories and such. THANKFULLY I found the healthy selections on the back cover.

? ? I ended up having steamed broccoli with NO butter, a piece of grilled chicken and a plain baked potato. It certainly was NOT what I really wanted, but, it was what I knew I should have. And you know what? I didn’t miss a thing! As I sat there eating my grilled chicken and broccoli I watched my husband eating. He ordered a chicken sandwich that was smothered in cheese and bacon. As he was eating it a HUGE glob of melted cheese dropped from the sandwhich on to the plate. It was that moment when I realized that I DIDN’T NEED to have that kind of food! All that cheesy goo is NOT good for me! The grilled chicken and broccoli that I had on my plate in front of me was the better choice.

? ? It truly is a MAJOR life change. It takes a lot of hard work and determination to keep with it. This is certainly something that is NOT going to happen overnight. It’s going to take me a year or more to lose the weight I need to lose. But I shouldn’t just look at it as a weight loss program. It’s really a healthy life style change. EVERYONE, no? matter if you are as skinny as a twig or hundreds of pounds overweight, should eat right. NO ONE should be eating sandwhiches smothered with cheese? and bacon. It’s like a “heart attack on a plate”. That is how you have to look at it.

? ? Now I’m on to my third week on Weight Watchers. I really need to into some kind of an exercise program. Eating right is one thing but you MUST exercise too. And that seems to be my weakness right now.

? ? I just have to think like the little engine that could… “I can do it. I can do it. I can do it..”

? ? “The road to success is always under construction” - Author Unknown.